Partnership in Druidry
When Partnerships Break
Rites of Separation
Partnership in Druidry
In any Druid handfasting rite that I perform, I am always
clear that my tradition does not dictate just how long such a union must last.
If the couple wish to vow their souls woven through this life and all those
to come, I might challenge the sanity (for we might dislike each other next
time around or find ourselves desperately or even dangerously unavailable)
but I leave the decision to them.
For the most part, folk getting married within Druidry make
their vows in truth and in freedom, for as long as love should last. It is
within their personal marriage vows that couple's pledge their commitment
to work through the difficult times as well as the easy; in tune with the
fundamental ethos of the tradition I practise, there is no force that restricts
our souls' journeys of learning and discovery.
A cynic might wonder if, in our Pagan society, there are
more divorces or separations than in conventional, secular and monotheistic
society. I have no idea of the statistics, but from my own experience of working
as a Druid priest, I see more marriages and vowed partnerships held together
in our tradition with love and wakeful commitment than is the norm beyond.
Sometimes rites are needed to rededicate a commitment, to
reframe a relationship; Druidry acknowledges the way we grow as individuals,
and partners at times need to reunite with different vows. Perhaps our Craft's
willingness to accept many different configurations of love, from hetero monogamy,
to polysexuality, polyamory and unions without physical intimacy, helps as
well.
When Partnerships Break
There are time, nonetheless, when however hard we are working
at a relationship, its course has been run, and the partners are going to
be better off walking off on their separate roads. This is as true for any
and all of the kinds of unions that are made with vows in Druidic ceremony,
and includes those built upon not soul-deep love but some inspired business
venture or deeply felt friendship as well.
Indeed, a Druid Rite of Separation might be used where no
vows were officially made between the partners involved. What the rite will
do is ease the pain and the healing, wherever emotional investment has been
made, where profound connection has been forged. Rites guide us to process
the anger and fear that is so often evoked. And where the emotions are not
the problem, the rites ease the journey of honourable closure, so that everybody
can walk on along their way.
Rites of Separation
A Rite of Completion
(Peter Neall)
Creating a Rite of Separation (Emma
Restall Orr)
